Lion Rock News: How HK Solves its English-Language Problem – NOW WITH QUIZ!!!!
How does Hong Kong solve it’s English-language problem? By using abbreviations for absolutely everything! Why have difficult syllables, when you can use easy letters? Simples!
Try out your HK (that’s Hong Kong, by the way. I mean, btw) abbreviation knowledge by making sense of this entirely-invented, but all-too-believable news article! Answers at the end. If you can get them all, you’ve been here way too long, my friend…
SCL ETA at CBD TBC as MTR SLT goes MIA
Both LRN and the SCMP sent RSVPs to the MTR CEO and CFO regarding alleged DDoS attack amid worries at DBS and HSBC over the IPO at the HKSEC.
It’s understood that both ATV and TVB also attempted a Q&A session at the FCC in LKF, then outside the HKCC in TST, but only caught up with the VIPs at a BBQ outside the PCC in DB.
The response was ‘no comment’.
In other news, the EDB announced that both CMI and EMI schools would continue to teach LS for HKDSE using existing MOs. GMs and SGMs were encouraged to complete an appropriate PGQ, such as an MA, and to consider joining the PTU and PTA ASAP. Teachers from the PRC might need an additional BA or PGDE to meet HKSAR requirements.
Answer Key:
SCL – Sha Tin-Central Link, a new underground line being built
ETA – Estimated Time of Arrival
CBD – Central Business District
TBC – To Be Confirmed
MTR – Mass Transit Railway
SLT – Senior Leadership Team
MIA – Missing In Action
LRN – Lion Rock News, Hong Kong’s Premier Satirical News Outlet
SCMP – South China Morning Post, a newspaper
RSVP – Respondez, S’il Vous Plait (I hope I spelled that right – if not, send me a reply, please!)
CEO – Chief Executive Officer
CFO – Chief Financial Officer
DDoS – Distributed Denial of Service (Google it…)
DBS – the Development Bank of Singapore (formerly)
HSBC – the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation (formerly)
ATV – Asia Television, a local TV broadcaster
TVB – Television Broadcasts, a local TV broadcaster – exactly what it says on the tin!
Q and A – Question and Answer (seriously?)
FCC – the Foreign Correspondents’ Club, hack central in any territory
LKF – Lan Kwai Fong, you’ll know it when you see it
HKCC – Hong Kong Cultural Centre, you’ll know it when you can’t see out of it.
TST – Tsim Sha Tsui, a tourist and shopping Mecca that actually houses a mosque!
VIP – Very Important Person. In Hong Kong this is the closest equivalent of a British Peerage. Also a marketing gimmick (if you pay $500 to become a VIP, you’re snot really a VIP, sorry)
BBQ – barbecue, as spelled by those with limited English (c.f. ‘nite’, ‘OK’, ‘ID’, ‘etc.’)
PCC – Pacific Coffee Company, the one that’s not Starbucks
DB – Discovery Bay, foreigner enclave that this column mistakenly accused of seceding from Hong Kong.
EDB – the Education Bureau. You’re obviously not a teacher and don’t have kids. This bit’s going to be tough for you…
CMI – Chinese as a Medium of Instruction
EMI – English as a Medium of Instruction
LS – Liberal Studies, a compulsory high school subject
HKDSE – the Hong Kong Diploma of Secondary Education. The local test to separate the wheat from the chaff.
MO – Modus Operandi (Google it…)
GM – Graduate Master / Mistress (in other countries: a teacher. Just a teacher)
SGM – Senior Graduate Master / Mistress (a senior teacher)
PGQ – Post-Graduate Qualification
MA – Master of Arts
PTU Professional Teachers’ Union
PTA – Parent-Teacher Association
ASAP – As Soon As Possible. Get used to hearing this one. ASAP!
PRC – the People’s Republic of China, of which Hong Kong is an inalienable part and from which all it’s power derives from. Get used to hearing this as well.
BA – Bachelor of Arts, a formerly-distinguished degree that now simply means you can write your name correctly and get in line with everybody else for the one job going.
PGDE – Post-Graduate Diploma in Education, the local teaching qualification that seems to be remarkably useless anywhere else in the world.
HKSAR – Hong Kong Special Administrative Region! It’s the people that make it so special.
How did you do?
1-43 This is Hong Kong. Less than 100% is zero. You are not yet local. Try again. Epic fail.
43 Haaaa?!? You so local, lah! Let’s go yam cha! (Then leave immediately after the bill is paid.) Bring your gran!
LRN: separating the BS from the WTF?
The Guest Room 