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Residents of the newly-formed Democratic People’s Republic of Discovery Bay (DPRDB) rejoiced on Friday at their Declaration of Independence from ‘Mainland Hong Kong’.
Independence Day came at the end of a series of quasi-nationalist struggles based on shared language, history, profession and mode of transport among its residents.
“God knows, we all use the Queen’s English here,” stated one newly-proclaimed citizen, referring to Queen Emilia, wife of the supreme leader Geraldinhoho (formerly Gerald) of the leading Discovery Bay Consolidation of the Liberation of International Territory Party (DBCLIT Party) (formerly Discovery Bay Residents Association and Neighbourhood Watch Alliance [NWA]), oblivious to the apparent contradiction of having a queen in a republic. “It was only a matter of time before secession. We work the same jobs, drive the same carts and planes, eat at the same restaurants. Heck, even our kids all go the same school! What more do you need for a nation?”
Speaking at the newly-christened Discovery Bay International Ferry Terminal, Geraldihnoho proposed a weekly parliament outside Ebeneezer’s, a court of law in the Pacific Coffee with a nice view of the beach and the consolidation of several sewing circles and book groups into the new Secretariat. “And we’ll do a much better job than the old lot,” he announced, before downing a freshly bought beer can from the people’s 7/11.
New resident of the DPRDB and founder of theDPRDBguestroom.org, NewChinaHand, suggested that the original plan in declaring independence had been been to literally cut ties with the rest of Hong Kong and allow Lantau to ‘float off towards Macau.’ ‘That way we would have got the airport. too,’ he said. However, the Hong Kong government had ‘preempted us’ by building the HK-Zhuhai-Macau bridge which, in conjunction with the Tsing Ma bridge on the other coast, had ‘anchored’ the island.
When asked what the future holds for the DPRDB, NewChinaHand said his biggest fear by far was ‘being annexed by Russia.’
Stay tuned for more ludicrous tales!